Feelings and thoughts of loneliness seem to be all around me. I just think that most days that are traditionally "family" days always gets me in a funk. it doesnt help matters when u were in a funk before you got there. i went to church only to not feel comfortable. i think to myself what am i doing to change my situation. the thing i think is that i have actually allowed myself or invited people out with me at least once a week. i dont seem to find much change into my mood. work is just work and i dont find it at all fulfilling or feeding my soul like how it used to. i think that i probably need a vacation. i need time away and charge my batteries and spend time with my loved ones. i find myself missing my mom a great deal. i was just back home a few months ago but i didnt have enough time. i often told people that due to delays all i really had was 24 hours.
i find myself spending a lot more money when im sad. i try to fill the loneliness in my heart with stuff and it doesnt seem to be working at all. i really think i need to talk to someone. im not feeling well.