Today is not a good day. I feel lonely and sad. In times like this all I want to do is runaway. Runaway from life and responsibilities. The real world really does not allow you to do that though. I think about happier times. Just yesterday I thought about high school and my past loves. I cant help but smile. I think about work. I think about what I would want my work to be. I love entertaining people. But when you are devoid of natural talent....how do you do that. I like being on stage....front and center. Sometimes the limelight isn't for everyone and yet I dream of it so much. I had it for such a short spell. I felt the most confident I have ever been. It was like nothing else in the world mattered. Its funny when you look back at things in your life. You always seem to look at it through rose colored glasses. I dont know if I really liked it as much as I think now. I also dont know if it truly made me happy. Right now. I want it more than anything. What do you do? Where do you go?
I often feel that there is so much I want to accomplish but I will never get the chance. Who knows.